Mad - bad & dangerous to know

Posthumous Recognition

This is a phrase I often refer to. It was said by Lady Caroline Lamb about her friend and lover George Gordon Byron, later Lord Byron, the well-known poet, but I feel it could apply equally to me. 

 I never think I am as proficient a writer or as popular as he was. To think that would be arrogant beyond belief and anybody who knows me will tell you, arrogance is not in my nature. 

Mad:- I am to an extent possessed by a desire to well read and liked, to the extent that I keep writing despite a lack of interest in my books. Apparently, there is a big following for my work; if so it must be underground as apart from a few people who I know enjoy the stories, there has been little evidence of it in the sales of my ebooks, other than my science fiction series.

Bad:- People who know me will tell you I am my own worst enemy, not only do I not believe in the following I have (apparently) but I don't believe I am as good as other people. My friends tell me I am. I am also my own worst critic as I am rarely satisfied with my work, until recently.

 Dangerous to know:- Like many of the great writers I am prone to bouts of great depression when I feel my work is not valued, such as now. This is the reason the collaboration with my great friend in Seattle is not going ahead as we had planned - each day I fight the battle, and many times I lose the fight.

 There is a saying "There is a thin line between genius and insanity."

Byron was suspected to suffer from Bipolar Disorder and Graham Greene did suffer from it. I never claim to be of their greatness, I do at times wonder if I suffer too, I try to contain mood swings but it is hard when you spend months writing a story only to see the work ignored.